Competence and confidence
A week ago, I watched a lot of vlogs made by people who got into FAANG companies. I was curious about the mindsets and lifestyles of people who managed to get these difficult, highly prestigious jobs (even if it was a bit of an easier timeframe).
Something that stuck out to me was one woman discussing the competency of her male classmates. The gist is that men who are competent tend to project an air of security, and are great in group settings and social environments - while incompetent men tend to tear other people down (talking over others, rude comments like "oh it was easy for me") and isolate themselves.
It’s a good video. I think the gendered lens to view students in computer science is extremely helpful. Tech, like it or not, is overwhelmingly male, even after many women have been making strides. The video and message is great, I love hearing new perspectives.
But that section has been in my head like a bad tune for a while. First off, this is obviously close-minded, right? While the tearing other people down aspect is indefensible - there’s a lot of good reasons why someone would self isolate or refuse to join group projects.
Most people work in college. A lot of students have side projects and extracurriculars they have to focus on. Some even have family members they need to care for. It’s obviously stupid to see someone be short with others and instead of thinking "oh, he’s busy, he must have a lot on his mind" you think "oh, he’s incompetent and rude."
There’s a bias towards extroversion here.
Personally, I find there’s a huge, monumental gap between CS majors who made it through the weeder classes, and those who didn’t. When I was in my JR year at college, I took a discrete mathematics course with a bunch of freshman that happened right after one of my senior-level courses. The things that I would point to for the successful students who got an A and for the unsuccessful students who ended up leaving CS are much different than sociability.
I’ll make a blogpost about that later.
With that being said - I feel like the core point of the video is extremely accurate. I ran a game dev club in college, I was always leading teams for programming, I was always taking the time to create study groups and share notes with my classmates, I was always spoke to people who managed to get into these difficult programs and I led so many projects in my lab.
How many times have I learned new things from people that I never would have met otherwise? How many times have I started conversations that ended up teaching me things? How many times have I joined groups and improved as a person?
How many times have completely non-technical people managed to shift my perspective on technical subjects? (These are rhetorical questions - to which the answer is quite often).
The point I’m making, is that this happens a lot. The road to my full ride scholarship started because I decided to email a few people and ask for information on student programs.
Being genuine trumps all. There’s no ifs and buts about it - you have to take the first step and get out there.
Even if you are introverted - it is rational to group up with other people. You will make mistakes, you will meet jerks, and sometimes people will make fun of you. But you’ll be better in the end.